Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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