Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
