I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
