nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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