I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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