Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize