You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
