i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize