Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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