Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just high enough for therapy.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
