guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
