and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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