awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize