RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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