Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
