God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You're breaking my sexual little heart
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
