i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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