We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
