i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
