So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
