i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
