Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
