OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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