Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
