dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
