I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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