It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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