I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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