I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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