No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
the raccoons are back...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
