Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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