you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
