Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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