is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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