Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
