shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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