My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
