He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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