i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
