allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I think im going to throw up on grandma
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
