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• (714): View more from California

  Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes

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• (509): View more from Washington

  im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.

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• (+32): View more from Belgium

  It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched

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• (925): View more from California

  We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  We're too hungover to prance.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come

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