I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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