Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
