Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
