How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
