New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Drake has all the answers
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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