Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
