Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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