just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize