everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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