So drunk, too bad you don't want this
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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