There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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