bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
