Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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