Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
