Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
